When at night i could not sleep, i talked to the Shepherd and stopped counting the sheep....

Of late I have begun to admire  and envy those independent  women who can live happily by themselves.... because for me it is the hardest thing on earth. its been eight months that me and husband are staying in different places.... and at times this living apart suffocates me a lot... weekends and holidays are the worst... indulging yourself never seems enough...for every now and then i need my family to rejuvenate, i need my family to ventilate... and it makes me really sad when loneliness is all i get at the end of each weary day  ....

my introvert personality, which for sheer want of companions, masks itself in an extrovert visage, has probably a lot to do with this feeling of suffocation. but what do i do.. i wish to talk and not just to the walls... i wish to hear someone talk while i am sipping my cup of evening chai or having my lunch... i am probably too old to make new best friends ... and so i let myself be accompanied by whoever comes along.... but still at the end of each day i am alone and that makes me really sad and makes the whole ordeal seem rather futile...

i hate to feel so vague and sad... i feel the need to gather myself and do all that needs to be done... so i have decided to wrap my spread here and  move to where husband stays...... at that, my companions expressed their concern...  and said, " if not paid you'll  probably not do what needs to be done"... and  i replied, "why not ?? my work is my passion and all i need to steer through it- is family and my peace of mind...."

[title adapted from the quotation: When at night you cannot sleep, talk to the Shepherd and stop counting sheep.]

[images by google search.]